Get off!
- Go away. - Come on, you're trash.
- You're done, bitch. - Bring us Lilith!
- You suck! - Lilith!
You.
Oh, baby, you are morbid.
I love your tongue.
Oh, wow, this is so fucking cool.
I love your tongue.
This is starting to creep me out.
Come on. Come on.
Okay, not too bad.
Just back away slowly.
These things don't move so well.
Oh, really? You seen those putas dance?
They move pretty good to me, all right.
What are you staring at, dog? You know me?
You look at me like you know me. I'm from East Lo. I'm crazy.
Bite me, man.
Hey. Hey, come on. Basement, basement. Take it to the basement.
In the cage. In another cage.
Get in there, fella.
Yeah. Yeah, that should hold him.
Well, I think the spillover zombie problem's been solved.
- Where are they? - In there.
Good, good. Okay, quick, everybody out, everybody out.
Come on, come on. Get out, out, out.
Home. Piss off. Come on, get out of here.
Make like a tree and get the fuck out of here.
Beauty.
Yeah, baby.
Those graveless gutter sluts are gonna make us a mint, bro.
Now, you know, the law of the universe dictates...
...that the whole thing could turn into a world of shit.
Well, hey...
...it's me.
Yeah.
That's what worries me.
Who's there?
Are you following me?
What? No. I was... I was just... There was this...
- You should have seen this thing back... - Davis. Davis, look.
You need to stay far away from me right now.
There's something going on that I don't even understand.
So just go home. And Davis?
- Lock your door. - Yeah, sure.
Shit.
Bye-bye.
Take me.
I want it. I want it now.
I love you.
Love is dead.
Great tits, huh?
Yes. But what does it mean?
Here I am, sweet thing. The god of love in the flesh.
Flesh.
Hey, baby. Nice to meet you.
Meat.
Girl, I've been dying to get a lap dance with you.
Go.
Back. Back, you not-so-dead nice boy missing face.
Back.
- Close the door. - You hold that switch from up there.
Get away from him.
- Get in. - Step back.
Hey.
See? Piece of fucking cake.
Baby, we are gonna make an un-killing.
Don't tell me you're going through with this.
I have to.
You can't compete with what's out there.
I'm thinking of getting Kat to, you know.
For my nana.
That's an excuse and you know it.
Perhaps.
But listen to that.
That acceptance, that praise, the confidence in that.
The sense of pride and self.
It's not a sense of self out there, but regression towards the mean.
But it's so fucking cool.
Okay, girls, go home.
Tomorrow.
I'll do it tomorrow.
- Dude, that place is so awesome. - I'm going back tomorrow, man.
Hello, darling.
You want to party with the love doctor?
Hey.
I like knives.
Okay.
But kind of kinky.
Okay, okay.
You two have a good night, all right?
Damn, that chick's as cold as the dead flesh...
...of a stripping zombie.
Jesus.
- Beautiful. - Yeah?
Yeah.
Beautiful.
We have to stop her.
Yeah, she could get out, infect others.
Fuck that. I'm not letting her take the spotlight.
But she's always been the star.
I have never been booed offstage before. Never.
Kat's reign ends if it's the last thing I do.
- But what can you do? - We need the source.
What happened to that guy, anyway?
- Hey, boss. - Do me a favor...
...and hose yourself down before you come in here.
Look, this zombie thing has gotta end. The other girls can't get any stage time.
Have you any idea how much money we're making right now?
Look, lan, these zombies, they scare me.
I can't sleep. I'm having nightmares.
Don't worry about them, then.
They're murdering, flesh-eating monsters.
- They're harmless. - Lan, this could spread everywhere.
If that's what fate brings our way, then there's nothing we can do about it.
- No, that's fatalism. It's not me. - Yeah, right.
- Whatever. - What's that supposed to mean?
It means that you've never really given a shit about anything anyway.
Why the fuck start now?
You've always just stood back and watched and rolled your eyes.
- Yeah, well, this is different. It's evil. - It's a trend.
It's a fucking fad.
I don't trust you.
- You're planning something. - Who, little old me?
Let me put it to you this way.
You are useless.
You're dead to me.
And I mean real dead, not undead dead.
You got nothing until you can do what those zombie bitches out there can do.
So get out, pack your shit...
...get on the bread truck and haul fucking buns.
What?
Suddenly, you have a sense of self?
Suddenly, she cares.
Hello.
Oh, my God.
Calm down.
Aren't you afraid of looking like that in the future?
What future?
I don't know.
Come to Mama.
- What the fuck's your problem? - I'm pathetic.
I won't argue that.
Coward. Worthless.
Ugly. Fat ass.
I hate you.
- Where is Jeannie? - I don't know.
You go on the floor.
What's the point? They only want zombies now.
Just do it.
No. Where are you, Jeannie?
Nasty zombie guy?
Anyone?
Jesus, you look like a corpse.
That's the plan. It's my duty to conform.
No, your duty is to be an individual.
The mind is a flame to be kindled, not a vessel to be filled.
How foolish and naive, Berenge.
Your optimism makes you an idiot.
What did you call me?
- An idiot. - No, an optimist.
Don't you ever fucking call me an optimist again.
My mind's made up. I must submit.
For my nana, for my sense of acceptance...
...for the luxury of not having to think for myself anymore.
Call it what you want.
In the end it's all the same.
What are you looking at, huh?
I'm doing it.
- You're going up there? - Yes.
- And taking your clothes off? - No, no, that's not what I mean.
What are you doing?
The whole flesh-eating corpse, zombie super-stripper thing.
Excuse me?
Did I miss something?
Warriors, come out to play.
Your time is done here.
So, little one, you think you can beat me?
You've been dead, the flesh decays.
- I am now your equal. - Never!
Then come, let's dance.
If this gets out, I'm fucked.
No. No, this is not what I want.
I can no longer be blind to the war. I can no longer ignore the killing.
This is getting way out of hand.
- Where's lan? - Why?
What are you talking about?
- They're out. - Who? Who's out?
Jesus, them!
- No! - Oh, no! No!
Get out!
Open the door, lan, it's us.
Prove it!
Okay. Come on.
Come here.
Freeze!
Put the gun down, lan.
How do I know that you're not one of them, huh?
- How do I know you're not one of them? - Because zombie doesn't piss in pants.
You two, boys with toys...
...stop this foolish nonsense.
We must work together.
Right, right.
Hey, man, open the door.
- Who's there? - Are you kidding me, pendejo gringo?
Just let him in.
Not cool.
How do we know you're not one of them, huh?
- He's alive. - Very alive.
- Now what? - Okay.
- We need a plan. - Yeah.
We'll destroy them.
No, wait. We join them.
No. Kill them and everything they stand for.
No, join them. Destroy them.
Fuck! Why?
Why can't I decide?
Am I no longer human? Have I no soul?
This is all your fault, existential bitch.
- Nothing like a good cat fight, huh? - Yeah.
No.
Hey. You have more of those?
Are you kidding?
Okay, anyone know how to use these things?
Well...
...something about the safety being off.
I saw that in a movie.
Hey, the law says I can own them, not that I have to know how to use them.
Skank zombie whore-bitch, prepare to die.
Been there, done that, loser.
I hate you, corpse-zilla.
Oh, what's that, undead cellulite?
Too bad you couldn't reanimate your personality.
I see your skin didn't get any worse.
Limbo bimbo.
Rotten slut.
- Can we at least have plan? - Yeah, I got a fucking plan.
Shoot everything that moves.
Hey, those guys... Come on, they could be shooting at us.
He's right. Yeah. We need to wear something that shows we're alive.
Like badges.
Badges? Badges?
Yo, that's a good idea. Maybe we should get some badges.
But what about the girls, huh? They're good girls.
They're zombies.
No, they're strippers.
They're zombie strippers.
Come on, let's do it, undead motherfuckers!
Why?
Goddamn!
Well, that sucked. What the fuck was that about?
Reminds me of the old country.
- Oh, no, we lost Paco. - Fuck Paco.
This makes me sad.
Little Aztec warrior.
That really blew.
Come on, you guys, we can do better than that, huh?
How about round two?
Oh, this is no good.
It's only a matter of time before they find us.
Davis, hold me.
Hey, baby?
Maybe we should, you know, do it.
What? What happened to all that purity you so needed of me?
Right now it seems a little misguided, intrusive.
Maybe like denying the beauty of life...
...by adhering to repressive and outdated religious dogma.
You mean, you wanna get laid before you die.
- Is that such a crime? - Unbelievable.
Oh, come on, baby. I won't put it in all the way, I promise.
Get a life, loser.
- Blowjob? - No.
- Hand job, rim job? - No. No.
- Anything? - No.
- Dirty Sanchez? - No.
- A to M? - No.
- Angry Dragon? - No.
- Foamy Chewbacca? - No.
Where do you get this stuff?
The Internet.
I can't take this anymore. You do me, slut.
No, no, no.
No.
Oh, no.
Pancho Villa.
Montezuma.
Cesar Chavez.
Cinco de Mayo.
Guacamole.
Adios, Maria.
Maria, Maria.
Goodbye, my friend Pepe.
I will miss you most.
You are a true friend.
It's Paco time.
Wait, wait.
The girls, you can talk to.
Gaia, please, look at me.
Look at my eyes.
And trust me.
Trust the voice you are hearing from me right now.
Look into me.
Look into my eyes.
Oh, my God.
Do I suck or what?
All right.
- Who the fuck are you? - Z-Squad.
- Who the fuck are you? - Whoa, whoa, whoa, missy.
I'm just a little old nobody who happens to own this place.
Thanks for ruining my shirt, by the way.
Sorry about the mess.
Yeah, you take care now.
Wait, wait. You don't have to leave.
- Maybe we could work together, huh? - Okay.
You take flank, lay GR at full 10. Ready?
What are you waiting for?
I've got a better idea.
I'll hide...
...and you two kill...
...or whatever, the zombies.
Copy that. Wait here.
"Wait here." I can do that.
At last, I will taste victory...
...as I tear you apart with my own two hands.
I have won.
No!
All I ever wanted was to be the best at something.
Anything. Is that too much to ask?
Babe, you were the best.
Really? Well, thank you.
Thank you.
Sector 7, clear.
Wait a second.
Someone, please, put her out of her misery.
Someone put me out of my misery.
I've got this.
Hey, boss.
Good idea.
We never gave you a thank-you dance...
...for all that you've done for us.
You really don't have to. Really.
Herpes is one thing, but zombie herpes?
Oh, God.
I know what you want.
Face dance.
Please, please. No, no, no!
- My turn. - No, please, no.
Tracking him now.
Eyes are upon the world. Repeat, eyes are upon the world.
No. Hey, we're alive.
- We're not one of them. - Convince me. Say something human.
Oh, shit, couldn't you give me something easier?
Okay, okay.
I think, therefore I am. I think? Actually, I have my doubts about that one.
- Not convinced. - Okay, okay, okay.
Revenge is a dish best served cold. Oh, fuck, that's Klingon.
Oh, God, don't kill me. I don't wanna die.
Please don't kill me. I don't wanna die. Please.
Excuse me.
Mr. Army Man, Mrs. Army Person, he's a little confused.
Missy, we've got a job to do.
So make it good, in a deeply ontological way.
Funny, I just had a memory.
I'm in a field and I look down...
...and I see a single dandelion...
...growing from out of what looks like cow manure.
And suddenly, a wind blows...
...and the wind is aswarm with glistening florets...
...milk-blue in the afternoon sun.
Seeing such profound beauty...
...rise up from cow shit...
...I suddenly realize life is beautiful.
Wait.
What?
Search and destroy. Recon sector Alpha, let's move!
Oh, Christ, what's that smell?
Oh, fuck.
Shoot me, please.
Specimen secured. Repeat, specimen secured.
All right, bag him.
No!
- We'll hand it over to SI for testing. - No.
No.
What it is, you are.
We got survivors.
All right, say something.
Wait a minute.
Hey, major.
You.
Me? What?
It was you.
You gave us that bunk intel on the electromagnetic pulse.
You want us to fail.
That's right. I let the zombie virus out.
It took months of planning...
...but I was able to secure a sample of the chemo virus.
And then effectively release it into the laboratory's populace.
Don't you see? We like it when things go tragically wrong.
We go out of our way to make sure disaster hits magnificently.
Global warming is making us enough money to make Solomon blush.
Iraq is making us enough money to make God cream in his fucking jeans.
But wait, just think, if this zombie virus gets out...
...look out.
Hey, this is America. We're fighting for the American way.
Oh, please, give me a break.
Dude, we've been sold a farm, used and abused.
If you're smart, you realize this and play ball and work for the Man.
Or else ignore it...
...and give in with the rest of the walking dead.
You guys should smoke more.
Not enough kids smoking these days. It's so fucking cool.
Incoming.
At last, I'm beautiful.
I'm beautiful.
Don't you think I'm beautiful?
Orders are orders.
Sir, I fear we're being used.
You just figuring that out?
Sir. Hey, I'm talking to you.
Gentlemen. Expensive.
Gonna cost. Let's fix this lickety-split.
Call it, lieutenant. Our job's done here.
Z-Squad, ten-hut.
Come on, you numbnuts, move it or lose it.
Hey, what's this?
Son of a bitch.